Are you related to Tyson Beckford?

Despite an uncanny resemblance in appearance and body build, there is absolutely no relation between J. Beckford and Tyson Beckford.

Did you colour coordinate your website to match your favourite pair of tennis shoes?

Sure did.

Who the hell is Jermaine Beckford and why does he appear when google "J. Beckford"?

Apparently Jermaine Beckford is some big shot football player over in England and occasionally uses the moniker J. Beckford. He has a profile page on a fakebook site called Bebo.com so it comes up in search engines before mine. I was born 4 years before this guy and he has the nerve to walk around with my name.

Oh well. We all know who the real J.Beckford is. On an interesting note, I Wikpediaed this Jermaine dude and I found out that he was born on the same day as me (December 9). Weird.

Is it true that JBeckford.com was banned from Japanese internet providers for what can only be translated as "being too awesome"?

Unfortunately this is true.*

*Denotes answers that aren't even remotely true.

What is the significance of the wood background throughout the website?

The wood background represents the splintering in our broken society. Two wars, a planet in peril, an economic crisis not seen since the Great Depression and the moral decay of our value system through television, internet and pop culture at large. These problems are now too big to ignore and this website is a starting point to address these issues.

... Really?

Of course not - I just think the wood backgrounds are really cool.

Is this my father's website?

This is not your father's website.

Who is your favourite Wu-Tang Clan Member?

Ghostface Killah

Will OutKast get back together and record a new album?

I'm sure they will, but the future of OutKast is still in jeopardy. Even though they technically haven't broken up, every album they have released since 2000 was recorded separately then pieced together for the final project. The last time they released an album where they recorded music together in the same studio was Aquemini in 1998, which in my opinion, was their best work.

Who was the invisible bully on the 1970s sitcom "Diff'rent Strokes"?

The Gooch

Did you once get busy in a Burger King bathroom?

You are confusing me with Humpty Hump. Humpty Hump, from the alternative rap group Digital Underground, detailed his fast food bathroom trist on his 1990 club hit "The Humpty Dance".

Is it true that anyone who looks into a bathroom mirror with the lights out and chants your name five times will summon you from beyond the grave like in "The Candyman" movie?

Sounds like a fable to me.